Another notable round was recorded in LeedsYorkshirewhere the tune was Flight of the Bumblebee ; for this, instead of humming the tune, the whole audience simply buzzed and Graeme Garden guessed "Flight of the Warthog".
The game was played during the live tour, but the audience were all given kazoos through which to hum the tunes given to them, thus hampering the Teams even more.
The object was to "put the last nail in the coffin of a long-running radio or television show and close the series in one line". For example, Rushton concluded Thunderbirds with "Brains says it's terminal Dutch 25/12/95) - Various - Im Sorry I Havent A Christmas Clue disease " and Brooke-Taylor concluded The Two Ronnies with "It's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from her". A variation involved unexpected or premature endings to well-known plays or films.
Graeme obliged with " Godot! I wasn't expecting you so soon. Adjectives were often used very effectively to qualify attendees' names, for example at the Bankers' Ball, "Mr and Mrs Dingrates, and their debauched son, Base Len".
The names did not have to follow this format. The Politicians' Ball famously gave rise to: "Announcing the late arrival of A phrase which invariably provoked applause was, "It's Cabaret time! One running joke usually by Graeme Garden is the appearance of Mr and Mrs Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 - Long phrase of exclamation relevant to the subject - and their son Gordon, the joke being that this is an easy cop-out e.
After the chairman has identified the ball, the panellists announce the late arrivals, in no particular order. Play is fast 25/12/95) - Various - Im Sorry I Havent A Christmas Clue fluid, often to the point that the chairman cannot end the show without shouting over the teams. One favourite from a very early show featured Lyttleton butting-in with:.
A development of Cheddar 25/12/95) - Various - Im Sorry I Havent A Christmas Clue in which the teams improvise an exchange of letters between two famous persons, past or present, fictional or real, with each team composing one of the letters and with the two members of that team constrained to compose it by alternating one word at a time.
This generally leads to letters developing in amusingly bizarre or lewd directions for which no one player can take full credit, and allows players to enjoy putting their teammates in awkward situations, for example by throwing in strings of conjunctions and adverbs to force their partner to keep supplying nouns and adjectives. An early name for the round, "84 Chicken Cross Road," has come back into regular use as the round's title, its derivation never explained though the reason probably lies in reference to 84, Charing Cross Road.
In this game, which has not been played on the programme for several years, the chairman supplies the first line of a limerickand the four panellists each improvise a line in turn to complete it. Usually four rounds are played, rotating the panellists so that they each get a turn supplying each possible line. This is the most serious of the games, in the sense that its ostensible object to create a funny poem on the spot is precisely the actual object for which the panellists are aiming.
The game is a test of comedic and improvisational skill, and is difficult to do well. Out of four rounds, the ISIHAC panellists typically produce one or two really good limericks, with the remainder still being creditable. The audience especially applauded instances of players inventing rhymes which avoided obvious obscenities such as:. In this game, each team is given a medical condition to act out which is also displayed to the audience on the laser display board for the other team to guess.
Symptoms have included Barry and Graeme thinking they are a man with two heads, Tim and Pippa Evans thinking that they are the M25and Barry and Jo Brand thinking they are sound engineers on a BBC period costume drama, so they began mumbling inaudibly a satirical nod to the controversy over the inaudible dialogue of the BBC's then-recent adaptations of Jamaica Inn and SS-GB.
Ostensibly it is an obscure game Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 extreme complexity, involving the naming of London Underground stations or, sometimes, other London areas, roads, landmarks etc. A summary of the "rules" can be found in the main Mornington Crescent article. It is a very popular game for Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 of the show to play themselves.
An attempt was once made to play Mornington Crescent in Slough, rather than London. The game came to an abrupt end when Willie Rushton Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 out to Lyttleton that there was no Mornington Crescent in Slough. Game play is often preceded by the reading out of a "letter from Mrs Trellis of North Wales " in which Mrs Trellis writes, usually to a random celebrity, to ask a ridiculous question or make an incoherent comment. Lyttleton reads aloud a barcode, and panellists attempt to guess what product the barcode comes from.
A Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 is played of traffic passing, and panellists must figure out the motorway where it was recorded. A variant of this game is "Name That Author", where the teams have to guess a famous author from the sounds of a typewriter, computer keyboard or pen being used.
Panellists listen to several seconds of silence, and try to determine the origin of the silence. Answers range from Jade Goody appearing on Mastermindto an audience's reaction to a Bill Oddie nature programme or the Radio 4 continuity announcer falling asleep during Quote, Unquote. In One Song to the Tune of Anotherpanellists sing the lyrics of a song to the tune of a completely different one.
The simple idea is always 'explained' to the audience with an incomprehensibly elaborate and bizarre analogy which ends in complete confusion, and often a dig at Colin Sell. This is the epitome of inherently silly games, though to perform it without preparation can still involve a fair bit of skill.
A laugh can be raised purely by Lyttleton's announcement of the two compositions, especially if they are from wildly differing genres: e.
Panellists turn a bland piece of prose, such Mac Bible - Various - Cornerstone Mixtape - September 2001 No.32 the instructions for a board game or the installation manual for a hot water heater, into grand operatic duets.
This often included operatic maniacal laughter Lets Try Again - Various - Jumpstyle By Babaorum Mix #1 lines.
One team suffers from a delusion but they don't know what it is the mystery delusion is revealed to the other team and the audience by the Laser Display Board and the Mystery Voice. They ask questions of the other panel to find out the mystery delusion. Examples of delusions include "They think the King's Singers want to kill them" or "They think they are Jason Donovan ".
A variant of this is called Scandalswhere the teams have to guess which scandal they are embroiled in. For example, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Jeremy Hardy had to guess they'd Mein Herz Ist Bereit - Franz Tunder, Nicolaus Bruhns*, Dietrich Buxtehude* - Lübeck, Eine Abendmusik implicated in the cash for honours scandal, and Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden had a worse indignity of having to guess they'd accepted a booking for Quote, Unquote.
This led to Brooke-Taylor asking Cryer and Garden if they'd "given up on comedy". The panellist sings along to a well-known song. Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 sound of the song is turned off for a period while the panellist continues to sing. The aim is to be as close as possible to the original when it's turned on again.
Along with Mornington Crescent and Sound Charades, this is one of the games where the introduction has acquired a life of its own, and is the only segment in which points are discussed by Lyttleton, who promises to award points to anyone who is "Within a gnat's crotchet" or "a midge's minim". When asked "What do points mean? Alternatives include " Pets Win Prizeswhat do pets win? On one occasion, the line became "Points mean prizes — what does moronic bellowing mean?
Prizes include such luxury items as a reptile that wakes you up in the morning an alarm croc or lawn seed to Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 make your garden look bigger magnifying grass. In the game itself, the panel, and in some cases the audience, participate in some of the musical renditions.
As few of the participants can really sing, the round can have additional humour value. However, the applause when someone actually comes close to keeping up with the original song is Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 a genuine recognition of achievement.
Rob Brydon 's ability to mimic Tom Jones and to keep up exactly with his song "Delilah" on the Monday 26 June programme received one of the loudest and longest 25/12/95) - Various - Im Sorry I Havent A Christmas Clue in the programme's recent history. Despite playing the Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 to perfection, Lyttleton nonetheless failed to award Brydon any points.
On one occasion when Barry Cryer kept up exactly, despite having broken into fits of giggles halfway through, he was told by Lyttleton "In snooker, it's usual to apologise for a fluke. In the last episode of the series helium was used to aid Tony Hawks in impersonating Pinky and Perkyand Brooke-Taylor in impersonating Ann Stephens.
When the sound was brought up on the Ann Stephens recording, however, the needle turned out to be stuck. Keep up the good work. We can never replace Humph but Jack Dee dies a fine job of paying tribute without parodying or mimicking him. Fans will not be disappointed, and Jack may even bring new fans to the table. So funny, laughed from beginning to end.
Can listen again and again and it's still hilarious. Jack Dee has done a brilliant job of taking over from Humph. Very good. Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting? Any additional comments? Your audiobook is waiting…. Brandenburg Gate - The Dave Brubeck Quartet - Brandenburg Gate: Revisited Iain Pattinson. Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins.
Cookies And Coke 5. The Proceed II (Radio Edit) - The Roots W / Roy Ayers - Proceed II McCoy 6.
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Yellow Bird 9. Rather unfortunate. We would like to go on and ask you a few things about what you're doing currently, Sir Alec, but we do have to hurry on to the next game.
Since 18 May in the same episode as Kenny Everett made his debut the show has included a fictional and completely silent scorer "whose job is eased by the fact no points are actually awarded", usually "the lovely Samantha" who sits on Humph's left hand.
There is a seat with a microphone next to the Chairman which is "used" by Samantha. During the introductory music Humphrey Lyttelton would stand up and "help" Samantha into her seat. In practice the seat and microphone were only used by the producer to welcome the audience, to introduce the participants and to give any other information to the Dont Turn Me Away - Air Supply - The One That You Love such 25/12/95) - Various - Im Sorry I Havent A Christmas Clue the expected date of broadcasting, and to supervise re-recordings of fluffs made in the programme.
Lyttelton would describe Samantha's social activities, usually in an apology received from the unseen character who had been detained, often with a "gentleman friend".
His comments included sexual innuendo and double entendreslike "Samantha likes nothing better than a little potter in the woodshed in the morning", though many were far more daring Goodby Pork-Pie Hat - Gil Evans / Steve Lacy - Paris Blues explicit. During early episodes of Samantha's appearance on the show, it was not completely clear that she was a fictional character, garnering complaints about the sexist and humiliating treatment she received.
Producer Jon Naismith recalled "when we [Naismith and Iain Pattinson] took over the show we used to get quite a few letters accusing us of sexist references to Samantha"  the character was named after the page 3 topless model Samantha Fox. Samantha has sometimes been replaced by a Swedish stand-in, Svenor occasionally another substitute, Monica. In an episode in November both Samantha and Sven were present but occupied with each other and unable to award points.
The programme's scoring is completely nonexistent. Most of the show is scripted, but in rounds such as "Sound charades", where one team of panellists have to guess the charade of the other team, the answer may be obvious usually a pun but the opposing team are now actually not told the answer. In recording, it has taken them many minutes to come up Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 the correct answer, most of which has to be edited out before broadcast.
In rounds in which the panel must not see what the audience sees, there is the "advanced laser display-board" actually a sign with the answer written on, held by Jon Naismithsometimes described in more elaborate terms and "so generously funded by our hosts" but these of course do not exist: they are conveyed to "listeners at home" by the "mystery voice", alluding to the s radio programme Twenty Questions.
A regular feature on the programme, preceding the game Mornington Crescent, is a fictional letters section which begins with the chairman's comments "I notice from the sheer weight of this week's postbag, we've received a little over no letters" and "I see from the number of letters raining down on us this week that the Scrabble factory has exploded again". The invariably single letter each week is from "A Mrs Trellis of North Wales ", one My Bones To The Sea - Harakiri For The Sky - Aokigahara the many prompts for a cheer from the audience, whose incoherent letters usually mistake the chairman for another Radio 4 presenter or media personality.
My aunt told me that, but then all my new wallpaper fell off. The chairman introduces the show with remarks such as:. Tonight, we promise you a nail-biting contest. Which will be followed by a nose-picking contest. Hastings joined with Romney, Hythe, Dover and Sandwich to form a brotherhood of coastal towns inintended to defend England from any cross-Channel invasion; they took the crest of a running horse rampant and stable door bolted. The Dorset coast is also famous for its sedimentary deposits dating from the Eocene Age, and the curious still come here in search 25/12/95) - Various - Im Sorry I Havent A Christmas Clue fossils and even obscure little-known dinosaurs Let's meet the teams As I introduce the teams today I must say we couldn't have asked for four better comedians.
So that's answered your next question A few have been played only once, either because the joke works only once or because they were not particularly successful. The panellists play as individuals or as two teams. Each began by performing a mime illustrating their occupation, giving a cryptic clue to the panel appearing to a radio listener as a short silence punctuated by exclamations from the panel and laughter from the studio audiencebefore fielding apparently serious questions from the teams e.
Musical games often involve incongruities such as singing "One Song to the Tune of Another" or playing a song using only 25/12/95) - Various - Im Sorry I Havent A Christmas Clue swanee whistle and a kazoo. In "Just a Minim" — a parody of Radio 4's Just a Minute — panellists must sing a specified song avoiding repetition, deviation, or hesitation: the chosen songs often have extremely repetitive lyrics.
Humour is derived from wordplay  such as puns or mockery of styles of speech. For example, in a round based on suggesting television programmes from biblical times:.
In " Uxbridge English Dictionary " the panellists contribute humorous redefinitions of words; "Puny: the Roman Catholic equivalent of tennis elbow ". More puns are found in the "Arrivals at the Ball" section, of the form "Mr and Mrs X and their son or daughter According to Tim Brooke-Taylor twenty per cent of the show is ad-libbed. According to Willie Rushton, it is more like fifty per cent, but he didn't think that a bad thing.
Swanee Kazoo (25/12/93 show draws to a close with the chairman imparting some final words of wisdom intended to evoke time, destiny, fate and eternity, undercut with silliness.
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